How to identify the problems that inflict your personality,fix them & come out as a winner?

Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. It is perfectly human to have them after all, you cant be happy and cheerful all the time. Moreover, without negative emotions, we wouldn't be able to recognize and appreciate the positive ones. How would you know that you are happy when you have never been sad and despaired? What would calmness feel like if you've never experienced anxiety and anger? At the same time, when you have a tendency towards a particular emotional state, there could be some deeper reasons than you might realize.
Negative emotions can be described as any feeling which causes you to be miserable and sad. These emotions make you dislike yourself and others and take away your confidence. Emotions that can become negative are hate, anger, jealousy, and sadness. Yet, in the right context, these feelings are completely natural. Negative emotions can dampen our enthusiasm for life, depending on how long we let them affect us and the way we choose to express them.
Types of negative emotions and how to overcome it are listed below:

Sadness:

This is an emotion which hardly has any positive effect on life. In fact, it saps away the time that we lose because of this negative emotion. Except for the fact that we have a possibility to contemplate and experience nostalgia, there is no other gain from the emotion of sadness. It reduces energy. It reduces your desire to follow goals. You start feeling that there is no sign of life. If the sadness continues you lose your interest in life.

How to overcome?
The best way is to start doing something interesting. For example, if you are fond of painting, start a new picture. If you are fond of singing, start practicing a new song. If you are a health freak, it is time that you start doing some exercise. In short, don't sit and spend away your valuable time in remaining sad.

Anxiety:

Next on the list is Anxiety. Some people may say that anxiety helps you to analyze the situation. It prepares you to meet the challenge ahead. It forces you to do all the preparation that you need to face the new situation or a challenge. This is an example of a self-satisfying assumption. Anxiety will have a negative effect on your brain. Anxiety affects your ability to decide. And it should not be mistaken for a need to prepare for meeting any situation. That does not require anxiety. It requires only your decisive thinking and discipline. Anxiety will only cause stress which will affect your productivity. Whenever you are anxious for a particular challenge which has cropped up in your life the best way is to sit down and write what are the possibilities. You have always to make a choice. If you don't decide even that will add to your anxiety.


How to overcome?
The thing that makes fears and phobias so persistent is that virtually anything you do to oppose, escape, or distract from the anxious feelings and thoughts will be turned against you, and make the anxiety a more persistent part of your life. This is why people notice "the harder I try, the worse it gets". They're putting out fires with gasoline. If you come to see that you've been putting out fires with gasoline, you may not have any idea what to do next. But the first step is always the same:put down the buckets. Stop throwing gasoline on that fire. This is where the cognitive-behavioral methods of desensitization and exposure come in. They're intended as methods by which you can practice with (not against) the symptoms, and become less sensitive to them. As you lose your fear of the symptoms, through this practice, that's when the symptoms will fade.

Anger:
The third type of negative emotion is Anger. Anger is the negative emotion which can be used to your advantage. But it will happen only if you are keen to use it. Keen to use Anger to motivate you to do something which you have been postponing. Anger also needs to be in control. When in control you can be sure that it will give you greater energy to face the situation which is difficult and which requires all concentrated effort. However, if you think that Anger by itself will help you if you think that it will solve your problem by itself, you are sadly mistaken. Unbridled anger can cause havoc. It will increase your stress and generate further negative emotions like vengeance or enmity and the like. So, you should be cautious that anger should not be allowed to rule over you. You should only think of using the situation or using this powerful emotion for furthering your course. It definitely enhances your motivation. It definitely increases your willpower to resolve the problem. But as I said earlier you must be in control of your anger. You should not allow anger to have control over you.


How to overcome?
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. If you allow anger and other negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice. But if you can forgive someone who angered you, you might both learn from the situation and strengthen your relationship.
Lightening up can help diffuse tension. Use humor to help you face what's making you angry and, possibly, any unrealistic expectations you have for how things should go. Avoid sarcasm, though it can hurt feelings and make things worse.

Guilt:

The fourth type of negative emotion is guilt. It is generated by your inner self. It happens when you feel that you have done something which you ought not to have done. It is indicative of a lack of discipline on your part. It is indicative that you are tempted by small things. It is indicative that you have lesser control over yourself. It is indicative of the weakness of ones character. How can we use this emotion to our advantage? We should remain self-aware and we should think before doing anything. Over the period you have realized that certain things which you did in the past, left the curse the feeling of guilt. It means that if you are shirking away from your responsibilities, you will have the feeling of guilt. So if you question yourself that you must avoid the negative feeling of guilt which will cause a negative effect on my health, on your thinking, on your brain, you may help yourself to avoid such inaction or even action which you feel will cost you dearly.


How to overcome?
Your first step is to explore your feelings of guilt and the corresponding events that took place.
Its important to gain immediate clarification about your feelings of guilt and the meaning and significance this has in your life. This is critical because at times your guilt might not be as clear as you might think. You might, in fact, need to do a little digging in order to decipher the primary reasons for your guilt. Ask yourself:
What am I feeling guilty about?
Why am I feeling guilty?
What is the underlying reason for my guilt?
What do I gain by feeling guilty?
Does this make any sense?
How does this guilt hold me back?
How does this guilt affect those around me?
Is it reasonable to feel guilty about this?

Shame or Embarrassment:

Last but not least we should talk about shame or embarrassment. This negative feeling or emotions demolish our self-confidence. It can reduce our self-esteem. This may not be entirely due to your character blemishes. It may be due to the environment. Oftentimes there are some incidents where your peers or colleagues or others deliberately try to embarrass you. So what should you do? Whenever you are likely to face such a situation you have to prepare yourself. Maybe you remind one previous occasion when some people misbehaved with you. At that time recall what was your conduct. What was your reaction? How did you deal with the situation? Recall, if you had not handled it properly and that became the cause of embarrassment. You can plan out a different response. In any case, if you want to avoid embarrassment which is affecting your personality, you have to do some kind of preparation. In life, if you want to be successful, you have to always prepare for challenging situations. Never be shy of preparation. Never think that you can handle anything and everything because of your ego. Ego has absolutely no place in life except when you mean self-confidence when you're talking about ego

How to overcome?
There is a reason why we say were dying of embarrassment because while were in the midst of an embarrassing episode, dying really does seems like the better option. No human being I know is immune from these moments; however, I seem to have a knack at collecting a large variety. After a recent incident that made me want to hide in a corner of the world without Wi-Fi, my writing and spiritual mentor gave me great advice. Its okay to be embarrassed, he said. Its cleansing. This one has already passed, and passed nicely, like a kidney stone after the first day. You may relax.

What Is Depression?
Depression is a disorder that is evidenced by excessive sorrow, loss of interest in enjoyable things, and absence of motivation. It is normal to experience feelings of sadness and despair in response to adverse life events. Such events could include loss, major life changes, stress, or disappointment. In most cases, the sad feelings resolve as you come to terms with the changes in your life. In situations such as bereavement, these feelings may persist for months and return at significant times, such as birthdays and anniversaries of the loved ones whom you have lost. According to a survey, depression is common. One in three people will experience a major depressive episode at some stage in their lives. While most cases of depression are mild, about one person in ten will have a moderate or severe episode.

How to Fight Depression On Your Own?

What is depression? Often, a demanding situation creates confusion. It causes mental stress, physical stress and also psychological stress. When a person is not able to cope up with the stress created by these difficult situations he or she falls into depression. It is a state when the person starts feeling hopelessness and a state of misery that triggers depression. In such circumstances, the person becomes a pessimist and feels that there is no solution to their problems. In such a hopeless situation the victim finds that life is absolutely meaningless. In extreme cases, the victim also thinks of ending the life by committing a suicide. In such a hopeless situation the victim finds that life is absolutely meaningless.

What are the physical symptoms of such a state?
The person does not feel like eating anything. Appetite is totally lost. Even if the victim was fond of eating or a foodie, they will no longer like to eat anything. The interest of food is lost because of the depression. The second indication is that the person keeps on brooding on the same spot again and again. The mind does not work creatively anymore. Old problems appear to be very large and solutions not to be seen. Even if the victim was fond of music, in the state of depression he or she will not like to listen to music, State of hopelessness becomes a sea of trouble and it is difficult to come out of it. Gloom perverts and the person is inflicted with dejection and distress.

Once, we understand the state of depression or what is depression, it is necessary to find out the reasons.

Each person may have different reasons. Some of them may be common but in order to work out the solution, it is necessary to understand the specific reasons which have pushed the victim into depression. For students, it could be classroom difficulties, something that has happened in the school, in the class or among peers. The peer pressure takes its toll and often creates an unwanted and undesirable pressure. Likewise, for an executive, it can be a boardroom pressure. If a person knows something but he is not able to explain for whatever reasons, he comes under pressure. Then he keeps on worrying about his deficiency. A state of dullness perverts, At such state its necessary to take all the actions to fight and root out the depression blues. Some people are able to adjust to these situations or too difficult people, while others are not able to do so. Further, pressure can also be caused by inadequate social interaction. If there is not sufficient trust among the spouses and each tries to hide certain things even that can create a pressure.

Studies have revealed that the US is the most depressed country.

She is followed by Columbia, Ukraine, Netherlands, and France. Survey reveals that rich are more depressed than the poor. Events of life are important to create an impact on the psyche of a person. While there are fewer variations in the life of the poor the same can be alarming among the people who are opulent. Further, depression can also be caused due to some infirmities in the personality. Some people are over emotional. They may also be negative thinkers. The negative attitude of a person surely takes him to depression. It is necessary, therefore to ensure that the attitude of a person is appropriate to correct the shortcoming. The person who continuously worries also finds the life a burden. His hopes are Diminished. His desire to do something creative dies out. Not able to do anything imaginative, the person feels useless and therefore the depression aggravates.

Eat the right foods

The first important thing is that one must maintain a proper regime of exercise. Exercise helps. Next in importance is sleep. One need to sleep 7 to 8 hours daily. If one does not go to the gym or have any kind of rigorous exercise, just a morning walk for about half an hour is also found very useful. It is also necessary to he eat healthy food. Junk food or fried and spicy food create indigestion which in turn reflects in one's energy level. It also reduces mental alertness. The healthy food includes a lot of fiber. It is found in fruits and vegetables. One needs to take a lot of salad along with the cereals.

One must be resilient.

Can be another cause for depression. Man is a social animal and it is necessary that we should mingle with others. When we interact with others we exchange ideas which make moments interesting. On the other side, if you remain alone, you keep on brooding which does not create any imaginative environment. And finally one can gain strength of character by reading the books of the great leaders. Abraham Lincoln the most respect of U.S president is a great example. He failed in business, public life, lost his beloved in young age, did become a mental wreck but came out as a winner due to his resilience and positive attitude. so we must be resilient. These and such other examples are enough to convince us that we ourselves are not too bad. The self-esteem which might have gone down returns because there is a ray of hope.

Self- Development

Today's era is a very competitive one, where only one's unique qualities can bring you to the topmost category of a successful bunch of people. So, to stand against the crowd one has to work on cultivating those special skills. However, the individuals eagerness and willingness to learn new things always proved boon in the self-development criteria.Self-development can be best understood by examining its components. These are enumerated one by one:

• Self-awareness
• Self-knowledge
• Communication
• Career
• Self-potential
• Health physical and psychological
• Social status
• Social relations
• Personality

Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the understanding of where one finds himself. What does he consider as his duty every moment of the day? How is he supposed to utilize each waking moment of his time? What should he say? How and to whom? A high sense of self-awareness is seen in the person who is proactive in thought, alert in mind and body and energetic in action. Such a person stays ahead in every situation.

Self-knowledge:
Self-knowledge flows from self-awareness. Self-knowledge enables a person to truly understand himself his role and contribution to society. Self-knowledge is also a self-appraisal of the strengths and weaknesses of the personality and character on an ongoing basis. Self-knowledge is also the knowledge of the inner universe of an individual the knowledge of which is vital to successfully navigate the outer universe.

Communication:
Communication is the vehicle for building social relations. This was true in the days when technology and the internet did not exist, but it has become even truer today when we are living in a deeply interconnected world.

Career:
Gone are the days when a person could take up a secure career in a government job and work until his retirement doing pretty much the same work. Today, career development has become very important in today's very fast changing and dynamic world. This implies staying relevant with the changing times by adapting one's skills and abilities to meet the changing requirements of society and the workplace.

Potential:
Each one of us has a latent, immense and untapped potential which sadly few of us achieve. The main reason for remaining underachievers is equally to lack of self-belief in our potential as also the knowledge that such a potential even exists. Self-development really starts where we become aware of our immense potential and start taking positive steps to tap it and creatively utilize it.

Health:
Health has two aspects physical and psychological. Good health commonly is commonly understood only as a state where the body remains free from ailments. There is a general ignorance about the impact of a healthy mind (free of negative thoughts and emotions) on the physical health of an individual. It is often said a fit mind in a fit body. However, the reverse is equally true a fit mind ensures that the body remains fit and free from many lifestyle diseases.

Social Status:
Development of social status refers to the upward movement of an individual on the social ladder. The craving for a high social status is considered the highest of the famous Manslows personal self-actualization hierarchy. A high social status represents his desire for self-actualization. Maslow describes this level as the desire to accomplish everything that one can, to become the most that one can be.


Social Relations:
Social relations determine the social status of a person. At the same time, the persons social status also determines his social relations. Development of the ability to develop social relations gives an individual the power to increase his ever-widening circle of social contacts. This, in turn, enhances his power, his prestige, sense of self-worth and most importantly his social status.

Personality :
Personality Development seems to be the buzzword these days. While everyone likes to talk about it, few seem to truly understand. Development of one's personality is more than adherence to a mere set of guidelines to be followed in terms of do's and don'ts.
The above-stated aspects of self-development are by no means an exhaustive list of what one must do for oneself. At the same, these are not water tight compartments that need to be looked in isolation. Often the development of a single area can have greater than the proportionate effect in other areas. So what one essentially needs to do it to focus and try to better understand each and consciously inculcate the habit to bring about self-improvements howsoever small for the overall objective of self-development.

Thanks for reading!